Adventures in Craftyland

Last week, I tried my hand at a whole new game: Craft Services. Sure, I’ve done crafty before, but only on the smallest scale imaginable. And, yes, I have a strong repertoire of dishes that are suitable for large-scale production. And yeah, I’m pretty quick in the kitchen. But I am not meant for crafty.

My little bitty car was not built to carry four coolers, six flats of bottled water, five flats of soda, nine 20lb. bags of ice, a coffee maker, a coffee grinder, two blenders, and two 20-gallon jugs of water every single day, roundtrip. And I was not built to carry this stuff all over the set. I understand that crafty is meant to be mobile. But crafty is mobile when crafty is more than just one person.

So, there it is. I am not meant to be the next Craft Services Star. I am, however, incredibly proud of the original dishes I put out:



Polenta Caprese
Crisped polenta coins topped with basil and tomato, garnished with mozzarella ribbons

Crostini Tapenade
Kalamata tapenade and crème fraiche on top of toasted baguette slices rubbed with garlic

Smoked Salmon Toast
Toasted baguette topped with smoked salmon, crème fraiche, green onion, and lemon zest

Tea Sandwiches
Tiny sandwiches filled with smoked turkey, roast beef, or cucumber and cream cheese, shaved zucchini, and tomato strips

Vegan dip
Spicy, garlic, and tomato-basil hummus mixed with minced roasted bell peppers, zucchini, and carrots served with pita chips and toasted tortilla strips

Despite the disturbingly hungry extras and crew who seemed not to care what they were eating, so long as it was food, this job was fun. And I actually enjoyed cooking for some of the people. But, truly, I learned that without a kitchen, or at least some semblance of organization on the part of the production staff, this cook is not cut out for crafty.